Chick-flick-rom-com-a-thon

Bit of a Katherine Heigl chick-flick double whammy this weekend. On Sunday I was trussed up as a bridesmaid so what better excuse than to get together with the bride on the night before and watch a good old fashioned chick flick – but the first one, was definitely not that old fashioned.

Legion

Oh my goodness. What can I say.

Paul Bettany’s pained expression throughout the film mirrored that of mine.

As a fallen angel he inexplicably lands in LA, with just enough time to slice off his wings, kill a cop and steal a car, before heading out to help the yokels at a depressing truck stop in Nevada desert. He’ll help them fight off ‘throngs’ of avengers while Mr & Mrs yokel sneak off with the second coming. Problem is, he’s only got about two guns, the wrath of heaven turns out to be possessed old ladies, ice-cream van drivers and bored extras. It’s okay, because just when the action looks like it’s getting slow, the arch-angel Gabriel turns up all bad-ass with a button-action mace and bullet proof wings.

I’ll start with the pity I felt for the excited actors interviewed during filming for the DVD extras. Apparently, before the edit, this film was going to be inspiring, with great characterisation, something that really pushes the envelope in this genre. My response; what flipping genre?!

Legion can’t decide if it’s a comedy, action, horror, drama or even sci-fi. It might have worked if it just stuck to one, but instead it awkwardly limps from one genre to another, doing a half-arsed, pitiable job. It was like an injured dog: someone put it out of its misery.

I’m wholly confident that if God wanted to destroy mankind, he’d know a bunch of zombie angel-human hybrids would be the most efficient way. Send another flood and have done with it.

0.5 out of 5 – for Denis Quaid - who worked out what a joke this film was going to be and acted accordingly.

Blue Valentine

I opted for doomed young love (Blue Valentine) rather than cute one-liners last night (Morning Glory) and I think I'm glad I did. I'm not sure. The pre-Oscars hype suggested I'd be all over this but this tale left me feeling a bit hmmm, thoughtful. Like many good films, I'm not sure I liked it.

The premise is that we watch in real time the demise of Dean (Ryan Gosling) and Cindy's (Michelle Williams) young marriage while experiencing flashbacks to happier times when their love first blossomed.

Director Derek Cianfrance’s chose to shoot the real-time scenes with this dull, blue filter which has the effect of washing out the colour, making their world seems as drab and lifeless as their love for each other. Or as one critic said, "as if the celluloid itself has been quietly weeping".

We contrast this with the more vibrant, crisp, clearer flashbacks from happier times before. Of note, are the end credits which have a wonderful firework metaphor - colours of light burst out and reveal happy photos of Dean & Cindy which instantly fade away with the phosphorescent light.

My problem with the film is that Cianfrance took 12 years to make this and, I think, still didn't quite get it right. The contrast should have been more pronounced. Flashbacks, like all memories need to have a slight nostalgic, dream-like, fading and rose-tinted feel - they should be more intense in colour, vague in detail.

Every failed relationship has a longing for the past - a longing where our memories conveniently wipe out the annoying habits, the irritating sayings, the boring hum-drum days and replace it all with perfection, witty conversations and endless excitement.

Dean lives for his 'honeymoon' world. His job at the removal company means he knows the drag of carrying baggage - he's only interested in the purity of love - it's uplifting, light and freeing feeling. So once reality kicks in he struggles to accept Cindy as the girl she really is. One who had huge potential which was taken away in an instant, literally - sperm travels fast. He longs for the pedestal moments, where he visualised perfection, true love at first sight, all the things (he admits) are down to watching too many Hollywood movies. Cindy on the other hand is frustrated with life - she envies Dean's freedom and despises that he is uninterested in it.

While Dean is stuck in the past, Cindy by contrast is routed in the depressing present. Something she's aware of, and seemingly, Dean is not - as shown by his misguided attempt to rekindle their spark with a disastrous night in the (ironically named) Future Room.

The biggest question though is what went wrong? Cianfrance is successful in showing that falling out of love can be as mysterious as falling in love. The ending is suitably vague. Cindy screams for a divorce while Dean throws his wedding ring away, but his immediate regret and her help to locate this symbol suggest they might just be in the eye of the storm. Who knows. It's refreshing to see some genuine, well acted, carefully written drama on the big screen. Hurrah.

I think I'll give it 4 out of 5, even if just for Williams excellent performance (she can REALLY play hurt, defiance and grief well).

LA Noir

Hollywood’s competition has clearly arrived. As many movie fans can vouch, where on earth has the big budget drama gone? Summer’s around the corner and you know that will mean weeks of cheap CGI animations (Hop), then there’ll be the usual dirge of all-action blockbusters with Marvel comics leading the bill no doubt (Green Lantern, boo)then there'll be the sequels to terrible franchises (Pirates anyone?).

So who’s kicking Hollywood in the butt to give them a wake up call? Well, TV has been doing it for a while – especially in the States. Mad Men, Lost, Six Feet Under, The Pacific, Band of Brothers, ER – and many, many more have been taking drama out of the big screen and wrapping it up neatly in a DVD box set for years. I don’t think this is likely to end, and well, it hasn’t seemed to scare the movie moguls state side to up their game yet.

Well, exactly. It’s the gaming industry who’s going to cause those fat and lazy producers state-side to sit up and listen. LA Noir is the latest offering from Rock Star Games, and as someone who is definitely not into gaming (other than vintage Mario Kart), it’s been a personal surprise to see how keen I am to have a go.

Facial recognition technology (used with reasonable success in Tron to make Jeff Bridges 20 years younger) has allowed Rock Star Games to accurately reflect the faces of the actors in the game. The lead character, played by Aaron Staton (Mad Men’s Ken Cosgrove) not only talks like him, he literally talks like him too – using the same facial expressions. Impressive.

But what is this? We’re watching drama, acted out by legitimate A-listers, but it’s a game using plot, story line and a sophisticated script to take the gamer through a series of mentally challenging tasks. This is no Grand Theft Auto blood-bath, it’s intelligent drama – that you get to control. Kind of makes all those additional features on Blu-Ray look like Disney Singalong for the level of involvement you gain.

I can’t see this ever replacing cinema (TV never did and I doubt 3D TV will either) and it can’t replicate the social side of the big screen, but it’s certainly an emerging new genre for engaging entertainment. It won't be long before we start seeing more of the big screen stars immortalised in digital drama.

Canne round up

Here's a good little summary from the BBC:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-13500584

Upcoming films I'm getting excited about:

1. We need to talk about Kevin - the only British contender, and should be pretty disturbing, for one it's got Tilda Swinton in it and she's pretty mad.

2. The Way - Emilio Estevez directs his dad Michael Sheen in this pilgrimage tale which questions relationships, spirituality and community. Interesting context in light of older brother Charlie's tabloid antics. In a Radio 4 Film Programme interview Emilio said he felt his film was similar to the Wizard of Oz - in terms of it's a personal journey of discovery - to know you already have the qualities you seek (courage, heart etc)

3. The Tree of Life - Palme D'Or winner, and full of Brad Pitt, can't go wrong.

4. The Red Dog - Louis DeBerniere's book which he's actually approved of in film form (unlike Captain Corelli's Mandolin) - it's ultimately a children's tale based on a true story about a red dog in the Australian outback who was notorious for catching lifts with trucks, buses and trains.

5. Snow White and the Huntsman - there's something going on in the woods with a series of Grim's Brothers tales being made into movies. This looks more promising than the soppy 'twilight' style Red Riding Hood.

6. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 2 - the final showdown!

7. The Hobbit - Martin 'Bilboa' Freeman let slip at the BAFTAs that fellow Sherlock star Benedict Cumberbatch might be starring - but in what role? I guess I've only got a year to wait - 2012 release date

8. The Dark Knight Rises - Chris Nolan's back to direct the third in the Christian Bale Batman flicks - this time Brit Tom Hardy (Bronson, Inception) is the muscular baddy, Blane and released pics look terrifying!

That's all for now, 8 a nice round number.

I'm sure there

Thor

As a fan of the Noggin the Nog books, and someone who, because of this, ended up taking modules in Old Norse and Classics at University, I was pretty keen already - but throw Kenneth Branagh in as a director and I was sold. Popcorn in hand, I eagerly awaited some old-school action - deity style.

So this is the beef. The warrior Thor (Hemsworth) is cast out of the fantastic realm of Asgard by his father Odin (Hopkins) for his arrogance and sent to Earth to live among humans. Falling in love with scientist Jane Foster (Portman) teaches Thor much-needed lessons, and his new-found strength comes into play as a villain from his homeland sends dark forces toward Earth.

Well. Hmm. What can I say. A film which takes part in two realms has the effect of leaving the audience stuck in limbo. Just as you're getting into the CGI world of Asgard, the fantastic, soaring buildings, the impossibly beautiful people, the sheer volumne of gold - we're jarringly back in dull Arizona with Natalie Portman's dull dialogue. Put those warriors of old in the modern world and suddently, they both look silly (though Branagh's tongue in cheek enough to mention that as two coppers refer to them as Xena Warrior and Jackie Chan).

Things I liked: the Mario Kart style rainbow road which is gateway to the other nine realms. The smashing of coffee and demanding of more by Thor. The Metz style 'judder man' of the Frost Giants. Anthony Hopkins (always good) and the fact is was relatively short.

To be fair, I didn't really dislike anything, it's more that such a simple story and plot I could see lends itself well to comics, (and Noggin the Nog books) so no doubt it's been a challenge for Marvel Films to turn it into something which could match the other giants in their film library.

I'm more confused by Branagh's involvement - and surely continued involvement as the sequel was just a little bit too obvious.

Okay. I've found a dislike. Films which assume a. there needs to be a sequel, b. that you will watch it, c. and that you'll pay to watch it. Just don't do it, unless you're Harry Potter, then fair enough, you've got a good excuse. I kind of felt like they did a poor job with this film, because they knew there'd be another one - why not made the best film you can and assume NO sequel, then if it's successful celebrate with a better one. Franchising is the enemy of good cinema.

Overall 2.5 out of 5 - it was pretty entertaining, but I'll never watch it again