Jurassic World

Oh my. This film is a bag of cats. Entertaining, makes a lot of noise but makes no sense at all.

I really wish Doctor Ian Malcolm, (that's Jeff Goldblum to you), could have had a bit part, just so he could have looked earnestly at the park's latest horror and said 'You're going to need a bigger island'. You know, like that legendary line in Jaws.

So what's the deal? Located somewhere exotic near the coast of Costa Rica lies Jurassic World. The humble theme park of the 90s has been replaced with a slick, luxury resort providing self drive hamster balls for the (notably absent obese) tourists that visit to view the many more species present on the island. Here, the scientists have been let loose, creating hybrid 'designer dinos' to excite the flaccid and bland visitors that, in between mouthfuls of fast food, demand more terror with each visit.

Nothing like a good obvious serving of hubris for park co-ordinator Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) to seem baffled and forlorn when their new Queen of Hyprids escapes. Oh no! What ever shall we do? Fortunately, there's a navy seal Owen (Chris Pratt) who happens to have an unexplained and odd passion for raptors. Half Doctor Doolittle, half Rambo, he's able to save everyone from an all out prehistoric assault.
 
Feminiazi

Claire never removes her heels. Ever. But this isn't a feminist issue, as she's clearly a baddass. For in those five inch Molonos she can outrun a T-Rex. Now if that isn't a role model for sport I don't know what is.

This girl needs to be on the next Nike Ad #ThisGirlCan

Owen 

In between tours of duty with the US Marine corp,  Owen was studying up on raptors. 'No thanks guys, I don't fancy a run, I'm studying tonight'.

I can't get over this character. I flipping LOVE Parks and Recreation and Andy is my favourite. 'Owen' is like that episode where April helps complete Andy's bucket list by filming a home-made action movie. I'm not tarring Chris Pratt's acting ability - he's great in Zero Dark Thirty -it's the unintentionally hilarious script.

Here's a short summary of some of my favourite Owen moments:

• He lives like Huckleberry Finn on the island's best mud hole.
• This image.
• He gives a respectful nod to a raptor, a kind of 'cheers' for not getting eaten.
• He covers himself in petrol then runs around with a flame thrower.
• His motorbike is as fast as a raptor. 
• His idea of romance is extreme and clearly puts him off his A game, as he can't kiss.

Elitism
Mudbloods, District 12, the Servants at Downtown Abbey - the underdogs and heroes are usually a good mix of folk who take sweet vengence on their elitist, inbred, web-toed, horse mouthed oppressors. Tut tut, that's not how to treat people.

Not in Jurassic World! An unexpected advocate of pure breeding. You can bet Crufts wouldn't except this Rex. With a name that sounds like a Catholic Mass, poor old Indominus is the Heinz 57 of the dinosaurs and the least scary set of pixels I've ever seen. She's an incredible (literally) mix of any species which has ever graced the planet. Need a beast who can disappear? No problem, it's half snake. How about one who hunts in packs? Yup - he's part raptor. What about glow in the dark? Look no further, it's part jellyfish. Can it breathe in outer space? Sure, why not, it's part alien... okay, maybe save that for the sequel.


Sadly, this cocktail Dinosaur is not as scary as a cup of pulsating water. It's like Cloverfield - once you see the monster it becomes a joke. Nothing is more terrifying than what we imagine - even Bambi understood that.

Architect
Sack the stylist. In the process of designing this park, the architect for Jurassic World made the sensible decision to house this Monster Lizard way up into the jungle, far away from the boat loads of tourists arriving.

Evidently, he then look a long 'working' lunch at the pub and finished up his day sticking the T-Rex immediately next to the food hall. I can see him now, bleary eyed, tie loose, friends calling him back to the bar. It's Friday, he's been working on this project for weeks. Yeah, that'll do. Hit submit and leave the office, good job done.

With her new people adjacent location, good old T-Rex sits back and patiently waits for the climax of the film where she bursts forth screaming 'Did you forget about me?!' Fortunately, she seems quick to forgive and after saving the day, is happy to schlep her way back to the feeding pen, dejected and tired. So tired, she hasn't even got the energy to munch up one of those pesky humans. So that's it. We're expected to believe that 20 years alone on the island has mellowed this previously terrifying cinematic creation. I don't know how long a T Rex lives, but it seems 20 is a bit young to be taking on retirement in such a bland fashion.

SeaWorld
Perhaps I'm not giving director Colin Trevorrow credit for his subtle social commentary in the film. Let's not forget the whale/dino/shark that jumps out of its pool to splash and excite the audience. I notice it's keeper didn't take a flying dive off the end of it's mouth. Maybe they'd seen 'Blackfish' and decided that performing fish is still a vicious killer, silently plotting your end with every show they perform.
Hubris
Like all good tragedies lessons have to be learnt. In ancient Greek Tragedies, hubris (excessive pride and arrogance) lead to the protagonists facing nemesis. Back in the day that was usually something more subtle than a 60ft high dinosaur.

So who suffers the deadly sins of nemesis?

• Greed: Masrani (Irrfan Khan) dies in his helicopter trying to save the day in an oddly 80s Action Hero kind of way.
• Wrath: Hoskins (Vincent D'Onofrio) the war-mongering-peace-hating military advisor is munched up.
• Sloth: fat tourists that haven't been doing enough cardio to escape the pterodactyls
• Pride: Claire discovers that love is greater than money oh, yeah ... and looking after a tonne of insanely dangerous animals.
• Lust: sleezy older brother and teenage Beiber wannabe, Zach (Nick Robinson) learns bro's before ho's.

So who learns their lesson? So many people. What's more annoying than their irritating screen presence is that's is annoyingly easy to predict the minute they walk onto the screen how and when they'll die. The plod plods through their timely deaths at a predicable 15 minute pace, just enough to keep the morons at the cinema interested.

The end...

Maybe this film is super post modern. There's an attempt to be ironic or self referential in a way that any hipster would be proud when the scientists say the reason they create these ever more ridiculous monsters is to satisfy the ever demanding public who come to the park. These morons, who turn up, numb to horror because they've been watching ISIS beheadings on YouTube while scanning Facebook - there's a roll of a scientists eye to know we're in on the joke. But we're not. We're treated like the morons they talk about with idiotic plot decisions, thin characters, predictable narrative and a march of set action sequences.

Jurassic Park was so awesome because it was a relatively simple idea written by a talented author Michael Criton, who like all good dystopian writers wanted to explore the consequences of human progress. Ostensible, what happens if you take generic engineering to the nth degree? Again, we can thank Jeff for a little pearl of wisdom.

There's no such hypothesis for Jurassic World. I've said it before, Chris Nolan has proven you can make commercially successful blockbuster movies that raise interesting ideas and still smash you in the face with action. Jurassic World assumes it's audience is still an amoeba in the prehistoric quagmire. So we're back to Dr Ian Malcolm, who's advice director Colin Trevorrow could have taken - just replace 'scientists' with 'CGI artists'.

Having said all that, this was a HUGELY entertaining way to spend an afternoon on a dreary Saturday and I'm pretty sure my son is going to love this when he's old enough to watch it.

The Help

I'm going all out. This isn't a film about civil rights per se. The more I think about it, it's a film about women and the traps they created and found for themselves in 1960s America. The title of this film reveals a little of the emotional distance and detachment we see between the characters, and it's not always because they are separated by race.

There's so much you could discuss about this film, so I've only chosen a few ideas ...

Returning from college, Skeeter (Emma Stone) arrives back in 1960s Jackson, Mississippi with ambitions to be a serious writer. Following the prejudices of the day, the male editor of her local paper offers her the 'cleaning' column post and seeking help to fill the content, Skeeter seeks out 'The Help' for assistance. It's Aibilene (Viola Davis) the housekeeper of Skeeter's school friend who will speak first, prompted by the injustices she sees, as the Civil Rights Movement makes slow progress in the Southern States. Over time, more of the housemaids and cooks come forward to speak with Skeeter and finally have their voices heard.

Civil Rights
Jackson, Mississippi was a hot mess for Civil Rights during the 1960s. It was more violent, dangerous and tense than a Quinten Tarantino movie, and sadly, it was where civil rights campaigner Medgar Evers was murdered by Hilly Holbrook's (Bryce Dallas Howard) friends; the White Citizen's Council. And this is why this film isn't really about the Civil Rights movement as this momentous and heinous murder is a just background news report and a broken bus ride for Abilene.

Civil Rights is a complex period of American history with a rich mix of heroes and villains from all races. So to say this film is about civil rights is a bit reductive. It's not. It's really about women, who have no voice, (the Maids and Skeeter) getting a chance to make their's matter and be heard.

Feminism

No voice? Well, the devil makes work for idle minds.

The problem with no name that Betty Friedman wrote about was ten fold more in the Southern States during the Cold War. At least in the north it was 'patriotic' to be a doting mother, dutifully promoting capitalism by religiously cleaning with your mod cons (take that Soviet Russia). But in the South, if you're rich, you do as little as possible. Why? Because those historic slaves you had are now called 'Maids' and do all the work they've done for generations.

So if you can't work, clean or parent what are you left with? Childish obsessions which make rich pickings for petty drama.

Queen Bees and Wannabees

So who stops the white women being heard?

It's the ultimate queen bee Hilly Holbrook. With serpent like control, her gaggle of mini-me-wannabees flit around her, showing in no uncertain terms that her hateful views are the only ones that matter. Like all good villains, we see Hilly revel in her power, patronise and control all those around her, but ultimately take one big bite of humble pie. Literally. Best. Scene. Ever.

I think Hilly's character represents how women in America during the early 60s were little more than high school girls when they were expected to settle down and 2.4 their way to domestic bliss. Nothing more American than a woman who cares to win 'Yard of the Month' and essentially, this community never left high school.

Hilly is the same acid mouthed, pompous Prom Queen she ever was and the other women march to her breeding beat, popping out babies in a regimented order to be cared for by 'The Help'. They have no voice because society (as Friedman discovered) dictated they should be happy with domestic servitude. The only voices they have are among themselves, except fear robs them of that liberty as they're too scared to go against Hilly.

Human Identity

Friedman also argued that the problem for woman marrying so young and being encouraged to find sole fulfilment in housewifery meant they couldn't mature and find their human identity. It is only Skeeter, who rejects Hilly's hierarchy, who has been away to college, who has ambitions beyond matrimony and motherhood who finds her human identity.

She finds a way to quietly rebel against the inhuman treatment of the maids. While Hilly's crew are building humiliating outhouses, Skeeter sees the true value of the maids. She loved Constantine her own nurse and maid, she values Abeline's voice and respects Minnie's (Octavia Spencer) 'sass mouth'.

I think in a similar way, the maids learn from Skeeter a different identity for white people. Decades of oppression are not going to be swept away by seeing Skeeter in a different light, but it does work towards forming a new identity. Segregation distorts the soul and damages the personality. It gives the segregator a false sense of superiority, and the segregated a false sense of inferiority. You can thank Martin Luther King Jr. for that gem. It's true, by Skeeter and the maids coming together, the sense of heirachy is abolished. They speak on equal terms.

Community

Having recently moved back to the city I grew up in, I felt a little bit like Skeeter. Returning to Jackson she sees the same old hierarchy still stands. Every secondary school has a Hilly, and mine was no different, but it amazes me these Queen Bees can exert their influence long after the final bell has sounded. 

Skeeter is an outsider, but oddly plays along with those around her. Uncomfortable with what she sees in the group she still turns up at Bridge, goes to the benefit balls, even agrees to go on blind dates. She appears like a lost lamb. It's her female New York editor who tells her to 'write about what bothers her' that finally gives her the impetuous to go from lamb to lion. Ultimately, she becomes isolated but independent.

Ironically 'The Help' are a close, caring community. They worship, wash, clothe, feed each other with grace, taking time to laugh and enjoy each others company. For a group that has genuine fear of being 'outed' in society, who is exposed to very real and dangerous risks, they demonstrate true love and bravery towards each other.

By contrast, Hilly's queens control, bitch, isolate and manipulate each other - under what fear or risk? Not being invited to Hilly's Bridge club. Please, there are bigger fish to fry.

Men 

There are so few represented, it feels like a twilight zone. There should be a reverse characters Bechdel test. It seems you are either a violent brutes or passive husbands. Ultimately, the male characters appear non-existent.

Minnie has to suffer the violence of LeeRoy on a disturbingly regular basis. But William Holbrook (Ted Welch) has to suffer the humiliation of being emasculated by the common knowledge that Hilly is still sweet on ex boyfriend Johnny (Mike Vogel) the now husband of the vivacious and vibrant Celia Foote (Jessica Chastain). Interestingly, there must be tenderness between Minnie and LeeRoy as she wistfully recalls during her Crisco pitch it can be used to 'soften your man's hands.' Passion is as cold as Hilly's soul in her marriage as we see no affection in the Holbrook house. 

Skeeter's isolation, that I mentioned earlier, culminates in a strange 'love story' crammed into the edges of the plot. Stuart Whitworth (Chris Lowell) is a friend of ice maiden Hilly, who after behaving like a complete jerk during a first date, convinces the otherwise sensible Skeeter to go out with him again. This jars with me. Why does Skeeter go for such a prize twat? I can only conclude, that the overbearing, oppressive mantra of her mother (get married, have a baby!) has taken it's toll on confidence so she'll settle for anything. However, for a man who we are lead to believe loves an independently minded woman, he can't stand one who is for equal rights. Fortunately, Skeeter's bland indifference at his hissy fit exit suggests she's seen the light.

Here's another one from the great man himself "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy". This sums up the film well. Skeeter gets out of her comfort zone to be independent from Hilly, family and men who don't live up to her liberal values. Abeline takes courage from God to step out boldly and have the black women of Jackson heard.

Shamefully, this film has made me realise too many people (myself included) focus their lives on the comfort of petty, high-school-style dramas, while comfortably ignoring the real controversies around them. I'd like to think I could be an Abeline but I thank God, I've not been tested yet.

50/50 - trailer

500 Days of Summer was brilliant. This looks like it could be even better.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt is back in this similar-style drama-comedy. This time the tone is more bro-romance, than romance. Marmite actor, Seth Rogen, looks hillarious as the best bud who helps Gordon-Levitt through the tough times (cancer diagnosis and treatment) but with what looks like a bit more added heart than we're used to seeing.

Chuck in Bryce Dallas Howard and Angelica Houston and you can see this movie has attracted a stellar cast. I just hope Houston will provide some of the quirky goodness she's given to Wes Anderson. Can't wait.

Trailer here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMaJET7mD0M